Blog Entry

Day Too Late NFL Predictions

Posted on: September 13, 2010 9:41 am

Like all sports analysts, I like to make predictions about what will happen each Sunday of the NFL season. While most predictions the so-called experts make are completely wrong once the games happen, and they move right along as if they never made them, I have no problem showing mine to the world.

It just so happens I forgot to post this before the games ran. But since I am the consummate professional, I am still going to reveal them here. Some of them were slightly off:

  • Tim Tebow is going to be just as awesome as all the hype says he's going to be. Just you wait until they proves not only that he can actually pass, but that he can still run over NFL defenses.
  • After all the bad luck the Lions franchise has had over the past few seasons, the football gods seem to finally be smiling down kindly on them. If there is any, even remotely close replay, expect it to go their way.
  • This just in, Blackberry would like to try and convince you that non-old white business men use Blackberries. Yep, just like the commercials, I totally know a lot of young ethnic skateboarder kids who are always raving about their Blackberry.
  • What?! I missed my fantasy draft and it auto-picked up someone named Arian Foster in one of the late rounds? Dropped! Maybe I can still pick up someone from that fierce Bengals backfield instead...somebody who might actually get some yards...
  • Pete Carroll is about to learn a hard lesson about how hard coming back to the NFL is from college. He'll wish he was back at scandal-ridden USC after this thrashing by the 49ers.
  • Drink Bud Light with Lime! It's like being transported to a world where it's always Summer, and you can play with sillouettes of women much more attractive than your wife in an ocean of urine.
  • Michael Vick has lost a few steps, I don't think anyone really needs to plan to stop him. But no one needs to worry about seeing him anyway, not with a young healthy Kevin Kolb at QB.
  • The Bengals are a completely different team this year with all the weapons they have on offense. Watch how big a lead they jump out to on the Patriots...
  • Eli Manning will distribute the ball evenly to members of both teams.
  • Some people are glad that football is back all over the TV, but I'm just glad nonstop truck commercials are back on TV.
  • The Tennessee Titans aren't going to be able to do much against the Oakland Raider defense. They are new and improved, and are going to put a clamp down on what was a great rushing attack.
  • If Tony Romo struggles out there, I fully expect them to put in Troy Barkman. That is the only thing I've liked in a Dallas Cowboys jersey in a long time. | Become A Fan On Facebook | Videos On Youtube

Since: Aug 14, 2009
Posted on: September 17, 2010 7:57 am

Day Too Late NFL Predictions

...much more attractive than your wife in an ocean of urine.

I am unsure where you were headed here.. but this is indeed an image I didn't want.  Is this some kind of standard you measure hotness by?  Weird.  I fear for your recovery.

Since: Aug 16, 2009
Posted on: September 13, 2010 5:47 pm

Day Too Late NFL Predictions

Haha. Great stuff. The Lions bullet point was my favorite.

Since: Oct 20, 2008
Posted on: September 13, 2010 2:24 pm

Day Too Late NFL Predictions

You were way off on your assessment of Michael Vick.  He hasn't lost a "few steps".  In fact, it did not appear that he had lost even half a step.  he was able to move the ball better than Kolb.  They have a QB controversy on their hands in Philly - 

Since: Oct 20, 2008
Posted on: September 13, 2010 2:21 pm

Day Too Late NFL Predictions

I LOVE my Blackberry!  Yes, I am 42 year old white dude.  

Since: Mar 5, 2009
Posted on: September 13, 2010 11:15 am

Day Too Late NFL Predictions

<<<Hello, you (bleeps) er ,ah, I mean football fans. This is Sexy rexy, head coach of the (bleepin) oops, excuse me, the New York Jets.   Is it too late to apologize to Ray?  I mean, you know how it is,  us fat people like to run off at the mouth when we're hungry.  mmmmmdonuts.  Do I smell donuts?  

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